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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25039954">No Experience Necessary</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlchemysHomunculi/pseuds/Katrenbug'>Katrenbug (AlchemysHomunculi)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Borderlands (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blow Jobs, Canon-Typical Violence, Consensual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fan Characters, Fix-It of Sorts, I just hate second person point of view, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lesbian Sex, M/M, Masturbation, POV Third Person, Plot Twists, Rough Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Sort of reader insert, Vaginal Sex, What-If, and I don't like doing things like (y/n)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:27:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25039954</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlchemysHomunculi/pseuds/Katrenbug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon Divergence AU! </p><p>Years have gone by since the Crimson Raiders failed to kill Jack at the end of Borderlands Two. Now, with only a fraction of their numbers left, they will have to deal with Hyperion and the COV at the same time. </p><p>What the Crimson Raiders and the universe really needs right now is a hero. Unfortunately, that hero comes to them at the lowest level possible.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Angel/Gaige (Borderlands), Handsome Jack (Borderlands)/Original Female Character(s), Handsome Jack (Borderlands)/Reader, Lilith/Roland (Borderlands), Maya/Patricia Tannis, Rhys/Vaughn (Borderlands), Sir Hammerlock/Wainwright Jakobs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey, so it's been a long time since I wrote Fanfiction. I thought I'd never do it again now that I'm an adult lol but I love Borderlands so much so now I'm writing this. I plan on it being pretty long and of course full of action and romance. Some of the ships will take placer further in the story but don't worry, it'll hopefully be worth the wait.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Prologue</p><p>            The intercom buzzed to life and static emitted without a voice to accompany it. A shaky breath was barely audible amongst the sound.</p><p>            “Is there something you want cupcake?” Despite being somewhat annoyed, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the little chocked cough from the other end.</p><p>            “You have a message sir . . . I’m sending it over right now,” she trailed off for a moment. “It’s from <em>them</em>.” He didn’t need to ask a follow up question to know who she was referring to. The static stopped as she tapped the button once more.</p><p>            As promised, a video message popped up on his echo. The image it showed was in front of something familiar. A place that he couldn’t quite identify given how zoomed in it was. Without anymore hesitation, he pressed play.</p><p>            <em>Well hello there Mr. Hyperion</em>, Tyreen Calypso popped into the middle of the screen. <em>Just wanted to congratulate you on your highest weapon sales this month, I’m sure you’re spending all that extra cash reasonably. </em>He rolled his eyes; she was even worse at sarcasm than him. <em>Since I’m sure you’re wondering, me and Troy are doing pretty dang well so far. Just got a couple million more followers over the weekend alone. You better keep up your sales, our followers prefer Malawian and COV weapons. They’re just hold up better than you—I mean, yours~ Any who, given how well we’re doing, me and Troy have decided to take a little vacation here on Pandora. We’d love to see you if you can make it, bye!  </em>The camera zoomed out on her and suddenly the white background she was standing in front of became part of a wall which became a building and, in turn, became the vast city of Opportunity.</p><p>            “Fuck!” Papers and tech crashed to the ground of his office. The booming sound started the woman outside the door. It wasn’t until he had pushed the chair over onto the floor did the assistant show her face to him.</p><p>            “Sir—” He was stomping past her without a word and to the fast travel station.</p><p>            “Get this cleaned up!” and that was the only thing he said to her.</p><p>            She sighed, both in relief and fear. Handsome Jack had only been her boss for so long and she knew her time was coming to an end if things didn’t get better. How many employees had been airlocked since the COV? How many raiders had been killed live between both parties? And how many weapons lines where going to finally pick sides?</p><p>            Unknown to him, these things mattered far more than an assistant should care about. But than again, Jo was no ordinary assistant.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Echo Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was nothing boring on the ECHOnet anymore. Since the Children of the Vault decided to become another fucking problem the Crimson Raiders had to deal with, they found that the only upside was that there was plenty of shit to keep one entertained. Even the ads between broadcasts were interesting on their own.</p><p>            <em>What up my beautiful bandit brothers and sisters, god queen Tyree here to remind each and every one of you to keep those offerings up! Me and Troy would also like to give a special shoutout to our loyal follower, Cumscab, for sending us a video of him and his friends slowly torturing an entire squad of Hyperion Engineers. It’s amazing what you all can do with just a lighter, a toothbrush, and a carton of bleach. It’s the little things like these that brings us momentary amusement as we continue to reach our goal. Stay tuned for our new video compilation of some of the best loader bot explosions of the week. And remember to like, subscribe, and obey!</em></p><p>
  <em>            Hey Kids, Handsome Jack here coming to you from the majestic city of Opportunity. I’d like to address some of the concerns I’ve been getting about ‘living in Pandora’ now that the local bandits are swearing their undying loyalty to those annoying ass incest twins. One, bandits are like cockroaches. They’re totally gross but they’re easier to kill then one would think. Especially if you’re using some good ol’ Hyperion weaponry to do the job. There’s no reason to worry that these jerkwads will ever get close to any of our amazing Pandorain cities. Second, I’m fricken’ Handsome Jack, you really think I’d let anything bad happen to you. And finally, just to remind you all, there is only one god in this Universe. And that god is me. (This Message was brought to you by Hyperion)</em>
</p><p><em>            Here at Torgue, we understand that these changing times hav—FUCK THE COV AND HANDJOB JACK. MALIWAN CAN SUCK MY DICK TOO! ONLY REAL FUCKING BADASSES USE TORGUE WEAPONS TO BUTTFUCK THEIR ENEMIES! IF ANY OF YOU CULT BITCHES EVEN TRY TO FUCK WITH ME I’LL STICK SOME GRENADES UP YOUR ASS AND MAKE IT RAIN WITH YOUR BITCH ASS INSIDES. THAT’D MAKE FOR A GREAT VIRAL VIDEO! </em>(This message is not a reflection of Torgue as a weapons company)  </p><p>. . .</p><p>     The loneliest man on Pandora currently resided within a shack buried partly within a mound of sand. It didn’t stand out much against the base of the cliff which, to the man, was a blessing. Bandit technicals never once slowed down to think about it or consider if there was anything worth looting from within. Currently bandits had more on their mind then murder and torture. Nowadays it was murder, torture, and <em>worship</em> that engulfed their insignificant lives. Since the Calypsos’ rise to power, the people of Pandora could be placed into three categories. The first being deranged cultists who now added to the increasingly fucked up war surrounding the universe. The second were the dwindling group that was either in favor of the Crimson Raiders, or more likely, wanted to be saved by them. Lastly, there was whatever Hyperion shipped onto the planet. Whether that be soldiers, loader bots, or naïve families willing to start a life on whatever city Jack had managed to create.</p><p>     The Dust, were this man resided, was one of the few places left on Pandora that had yet to become a gentrified jizz hole. Erecting buildings and monuments wasn’t at the top of Hyperions list at the moment. What was, however, was the complete annihilation of every organism that was insane enough to brand themselves with the COV logo. A lot of Hyperions intelligence had moved from creating whatever the fuck Jack wanted towards suppressing broadcasts that even mentioned the supposed ‘Twin Gods’.</p><p>     Between Hyperion, Jack, The COV, Atlas, Jackobs, Malawian, Vaults, and everything else caught up in this mess, there was the Crimson Raiders. A group of heroes that definitely needed all the help it could get. And it didn’t matter where.</p><p>. . .</p><p>     It was a particularly hot as balls day when a crackling filled up the air within the shack. The echo, now past its prime and damaged by sand, knew that it’s job wasn’t done the moment it’s owner held it within his calloused hand. Those hands knew a thing or two about war, about heroism, and even a little bit about love. Or rather whatever type of love Pandora was capable of handing out.</p><p>     Within a few minutes the cracked screen was able to pull up it’s messaging system, awaiting the mans large thumb to press down on the record. A few weeks ago he didn’t hesitate to try. Now, left by himself, it took a few minutes of silence to even bother.</p><p>     “This is a private message to any Crimson Raiders or Crimson Raiders supporters left on Pandora,” he suppressed the urge to cough. “Tannis, Ellie, Moxxi, Marcus, Zed, Scouter, Gaige, Tina . . . whoever’s out there.” His voice had started to grow weaker and he hated it. “Come find me in the Dust, we’re not done. We will never be done. As long as Pandora remains in this universe, we will never stop fighting for the world we all deserve.”</p><p>     The echo felt like it had gained fifty extra pounds in his hands. What was there even left to say, what magic words would turn things back around. With a muffled sigh, his thumb finally hovered back over the ‘end message’ button.</p><p>     “Roland, out.”</p><p>     ‘Click’</p><p>. . .</p><p>     Though it seemed that the universe was growing bigger and connected through The Net, not everyone could find their troubles lost within a sea of increasingly stupid videos.</p><p>     “Ellie sugar, could you please come help me up front.” The busty women pretended to not here the long sigh that came from the back of her bar. Promethea wasn’t such a bad place for refugees like them but it certainly wasn’t home. A lot of people would be happy to get away from the sweaty desert tundra and the piles of blood and shit covered car parts. But to Ellie, her junkyard was her own little sanctuary away from Sanctuary. Or, well, what was Sanctuary. But in all honesty, she would have preferred to have moved back to Sanctuary then to be stuck with Moxxi, Scooter, Marcus, and Zed in this stupid ass city. For one thing, she didn’t have her garage anymore and even if she did, they had agreed to keep in close proximity to each other. For even off planet, none of them were safe.</p><p>     And because of that, the bar had become a literal hell for all of them. Her brother was all right, most of the time, but the whole situation between their mom and Marcus was always one wrong step away from an all-out brawl. While Zed wasn’t caught in the middle of all this, Scooter and his paranoia still saw him as a possible threat to Moxxi’s integrity. The worst part, however, was the constant barrage of picky little comments that came up every time her mom saw something she didn’t like. Whether that was eating food, refusing the copious makeup gifts, or literally every time she talked to a hunky man, there was Moxxi. Always trying to make her daughter into the sexy clown she certainly was not. She didn’t need all those string bean bitches who ogled Moxxi for her tight and curvy hips. Ellie only fucked with men, and sometimes women, who wanted to take on a bad bitch with a loaded body. But the people on Promethea were not like Pandora. All snobby and thinking they’re too good for a real woman.</p><p>     As she moved towards the door connecting to the bar, Ellie made a promise to herself. The next asshole who even looked at her in the wrong way was going to be put on her list of people who she was going to smash into car parts. Of course, once this whole stupid mess was over with.</p><p>. . .</p><p>     Lilith hadn’t felt like anything in a while. Just tired at most. She could say the same for the people around her. It had been years but the weight of her surroundings made it feel like decades. Her hair was longer now and so was Maya’s. They didn’t talk much anymore. None of them did. They communicated through tired eyes and blank expressions. And it was always about the same thing.</p><p>     Even if they had seemed to become complacent, there was a burning in Lilith’s wings that not even a god could put out.</p><p>. . .</p><p>     A scream pierced through the air and Roland’s echo nearly crashed to the ground. It had only been a minute since he had sent out that message. Outside, the sound of a car burning its wheels against the dirt was followed the screams. Instinctively, Roland rammed his way outside of the room and into the sunlit wasteland. Someone was running towards him in the distance, the figure appeared in greater detail as if they were apart of some mirage manifesting into reality. The smell of burnt rubber wafted to him immediately as three vehicles raced behind, honking, and jeering at the poor sap. It didn’t matter to Roland if that person were a Raider or not, as far as he could tell, they certainly weren’t COV. Besides, a hero helps the people who need it most, regardless of their worth. This was something that Jack couldn’t quite comprehend. As he ran towards them, he couldn’t help but bitterly think of Jack as the type of ‘Hero’ who thought putting on a silly costume made you one. In his case, a mask was just as symbolic of his amazingness as a cape would have been.</p><p>     Roland demonstrated that he didn’t need any of that shit when he unsheathed the pistol that had been hooked to his pants. If the bandits in front of him had spotted it, they would have laughed. After all, what type of a man thinks they can take three cars down with just a pistol. The only one who saw it was the waif of a girl, exhausted and on the verge of throwing up. Panicked, she closed her eyes right as Roland delivered the first shot.</p><p>     Only two more followed before she felt a sudden shudder of extra heat pass her by. With one eye barely opened, the first thing she noticed was a shotgun Tink impaled on one of the jutting car parts and roasting over an explosive flame. A sweep of the area around her showed the two other vehicles in a similar state. One of which, notably, included a psycho with half of his face smushed under a wheel.</p><p>     “You ok?” Roland steeped back when her eyes seemed to bulge at the sound of his voice.</p><p>. . .</p><p>     Not too long ago, in a place infinitely farther away than anyone in Pandora could imagine, a couple walked through the doors of hotel chain. The woman was pregnant, with a squirming toddler against her hip. The man, oblivious, approached the front desk counter. The foyer itself was meant to feel comforting but honestly made it seem that they had walked into a living room display at Ikea. It was too neat and the crème colors were the opposite of warmth.</p><p>     “Hello sir, how can I help you.” The woman, he noticed, couldn’t have been older then twenty-eight. With obviously box dyed silver hair, it was easy tell that she had been there awhile based on the oiliness of her makeup and the way it seemed to crack around her forehead.</p><p>     “Don Palmer,” she blinked. A few seconds of staring took place before she realized that he was talking about a room reservation. The woman behind him rolled her eyes as she made a silent ‘oh’ sound and began clacking against the keyboard.</p><p>     Luckily, the computer wasn’t being a bitch today and she was able to distribute the little key cards into his awaiting hands. By now, the toddler was making rather annoying squawking sounds mixed with words such as ‘no’ ‘down’ and ‘hungry’. The woman walk-ran to the elevator as her husband began to follow behind. He stopped after a few feet and looked down at the girls chest. It wasn’t unusual for people to do that given that she was wearing a name tag.</p><p>     “Thanks, um” he chucked a bit. “Jo.”</p><p>     The moment she was alone, she took an annoyed exhale out of her nose. It had been a long shift and only a couple of people were walking in. At least if she were busy things wouldn’t suck. But no such luck. Instead, she could only stare out towards the tv screen in the couch area. There was no noise, just subtitles that she could barely see.</p><p>     Jo, with a name that some people found amusing for such a small girl, was twenty-six and only now was using some of her income to go to community college. Working at this hotel and keeping her education local was safe. She had her own little apartment and her own friends that she could drink with. But, at the same time, eventually she would have to declare some type of associates degree outside of just the general education classes. And after that there would be the question of actually getting a new career choice.</p><p>     Time was passing for her and so was everyone around her. People would come into the hotel from lots of different places, usually to visit family or go to some convention/conference at the nearby community center. They were a constant reminder of the dullness she felt hidden behind a sparkly clean desk. Things had become predictable and a change was needed. A lot of people have dreams and paths outlined for them to take. But Jo was three steps behind the average person.</p><p>     For before she decided on what to pursue, she would have to decide if there was anything in life worth pursuing. At the end of the day, between considering theater, nursing, photography, and etc., Jo realized that nothing ever seemed to stick. It was like forcing a blue square into a circle sized hole. You just end up looking like an idiot trying to do something so simple. But, at the end of the day, she knew there was something she fit into. Something that even she was good at.</p><p>     Unfortunately, in her eyes, that something wasn’t real. And, in turn, neither was the situation she was about to be thrust into.</p><p>. . .</p><p>     “The fuck . . .” Roland raised an eyebrow at her, she seemed even more scared now as her body shivered. “Am I on drugs?” Jo realized how stupid that sounded coming out of her mouth. She had smoked weed before but no amount of it could cause this level of fucked up hallucinations. Besides, she had literally been at work ten minutes ago and had promised to never ‘accidently’ do drugs on a shift ever again.</p><p>     “Uh, I mean,” Roland honestly didn’t know what to say to that. The girl didn’t seem like she was on any drugs, just that her fragile body looked as if it was running on fumes. Her face was red and the makeup was smeared all about. The nice skirt and button up blouse that she had been wearing was now scratched up and stained. Everything about her screamed ‘foreign’.</p><p>     “I’m sorry, I just—” she pinched herself a little as she stood up. The pain was a quick reminder that everything was real. The smell of smoke and the dryness of dirt was unmistakable. This was no video game, even if her new surroundings looked just like a computer-generated drawing. “You’re fucking Roland.” She laughed uncomfortably.</p><p>     He tensed a bit, wondering who Jo was and how she knew of him. His existence was no big secret but her reaction wasn’t quite what he was expecting from a person who, like everyone else, thought he was dead.</p><p>     “You’ve heard of me,” he said dryly.</p><p>     “Oh I’ve more then heard of you.” Now she was just being plain weird. “How can I forget my, like, sixth favorite Borderlands Two character.” It was hard not to notice his ‘what-the-actual-fuck’ expression. “Sorry, Sorry, dude it’s just,” she motioned to everything around her. “This is just totally fucking stupid.” The two of them stared at each other as Jo looked more and more like a crazy bitch. Both of them were perplexed and unaware of the complete fuckery that was surrounding their new fates.</p><p>. . .</p><p>     Contrary to popular belief, the universe is not as big of a dick as it seems. Hell, sometimes even it needs to throw a poor guy a bone sometimes. In the case of the Crimson Raiders, it wasn’t just a bone. No, it was a collection of bones that just so happened to fit nicely into a regular sized human body. That’s what he wanted after all. And luckily for them, this bag of bones just so happened to fall down right in front of them.</p><p>     And, technically, she was just the type of hero they were looking for.</p><p>     Unfortunately, outside of the computer screen, our hero couldn’t even save herself. Let alone a planet.</p><p>     So maybe the Universe truly is a huge dick.   </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Typical</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this chapter is bit lengthy and is important for exposition stuff. Things will go a lot smoother once we get through some of the weird stuff that comes with this type of story. I'd really like to just cut to the cool stuff but it wouldn't make a lot of sense if it was just Jo tells Roland she's in a video game, Roland outright believes her, bad ass explosions and dirty smut.</p><p>I promise that this will all be worth it ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn’t start out with shooters. Game wise, of course. Jo had never picked up a real gun before, only one of those pellet guns and, even then, she had stopped after nearly shooting a squirrel. When it came to videogames, Jo had started with some of the ‘cuter’ ones. Pokémon was a must and so was Harvest Moon but eventually she had made it to Skyrim. After spending countless hours becoming the master of the thieves guild, the dark brotherhood, and the wife of the Vampire Princess, there was little left for her to enjoy.</p><p>Then there was Borderlands. More specifically, Borderlands two. It was a fluke, getting a free copy alongside an old PS3. She had forgotten about it for a while as the console control was not the best for heavy action games. It was a year until she found it on Steam. From there, she had spent hundreds of hours on it. Going through two different characters then moving on the pre-sequel and finally to the third installment.</p><p>She wasn’t great at much other things. Even in Harvest Moon she had neglected her plants and animals often enough and in Skyrim she had spent more time playing house then going into the main storyline. Jo enjoyed the social aspects of video games. So it was a surprise that she became attached to a game that gave her little to no free will. There was no choosing sides and coming up with backstories. The game was about guns, at the end of the day. But regardless of everything that propelled her away, Jo had finally made it to the peak. Maxed out levels and rare as fuck guns. She realized, eventually, that all of these things might have been more important if she had someone to co-op with.</p><p>But she liked it all, even if she played alone.</p><p>Jo had a headache by the time she walked out to her car. It was one of those nights were she would be lucky to get out of her work clothes by the time she fell on the bed. She had begun to skip taking her meds every other night, to lazy and tired to open the bottles and find a glass of water. Maybe that was why things were like they were now.</p><p>By the time she reached the back of the lot (because of course the employees weren’t allowed to park up front) her body had started to sway with each step.</p><p>“Oof, fuck.” When she reached for the handle to her car door she had simultaneously rocked her head forward into the window.</p><p>In those few seconds were her body had begun to crumple against the side of the black Honda, she swore she could hear gunshots. That’s when the fight or flight instinct kicked in.</p><p>Like a lot of people, Jo had imagined herself as the hero to situations like these. In a hypothetical scenario that involved bad guys with guns, Jo saw herself as the first person to fight. Because she was small she thought of swinging things like chairs and lamps, anything that could knock someone back. Some of these cases, Jo factored in that she would be shot. But, for the most part, she would survive. Bloodied and in need of years of psychical remission but still alive. None of that would matter though because helping people was what heroes did.</p><p>But Jo is no hero.</p><p>. . .</p><p>It was dry when she woke up. Her barely moist tongue stuck out to lick chapped lips. Other then soreness, it was surprising how unhurt her body felt. Jo didn’t sit up at first, choosing to take in her surroundings while also attempting to process how she had gotten here.</p><p><em>“Wasn’t I . . . at work?” </em>To say her memory was foggy would be an understatement. It was murky, submerged in sewage water. <em>“Did I get off my shift early?”</em></p><p>Jo didn’t remember cars or guns. She only remembered the sound of the elevator door closing as the man and his family disappeared upstairs. Unable to comprehend what had happened, her mind raced to explain why everything was dry and hot and . . .and, <em>“What the fuck!?”</em></p><p>She opened her eyes and realized that there was amount of drugs in the world that could change the very fabric of seeing.</p><p>Jo would have liked to have taken a minute. Stretch her legs and maybe meditate slightly. But, as she was lucky, a new set of cars raced down her line of site.</p><p>. . .</p><p>Roland didn’t know what to make of her. First impressions are everything and his impression of her was like being greeted by the sick love child of a goliath and a thresher. What she lacked in violence, in that metaphor, was replaced by the sheer outrageousness of her existence.</p><p>Luckily, this apparent crazy bitch was nice enough to pass out at his feet. But that was just after she looked him in the eyes and said, “You’re just a fucking video game character with a hard-on for Lilith.” Which is the one thing not even Handsome Jack would have said.</p><p>Despite Jo’s mixed reaction of both ‘awe’, ‘I hate this, and ‘my whole world is on fire’, Roland still carried her into the shack. He was surprisingly gentle putting her down, especially given that she sort of insulted him. At the end of the day, she was already pretty damaged and being forceful was unnecessary. There wasn’t much in there. Just a bed, a table, a chair, and a shelf. Food rations were stored in a pile and papers littered the table. Everything was just as dry and decaying as the spirit of the last of the Crimson Raiders.</p><p>Moving the chair around to face the bed, Roland sat down. His usual good posture turned into a slouch as he rested his arm above his knee, letting his hand hold up his chin. Now, once again alone with his thoughts, Lilith’s face had materialized once more. Despite the years, he could remember it well. The girl had not only reminded him of her but of their long-gone relationship.</p><p>Guilt, buried deep within him, couldn’t be restrained now. It was obvious that Lilith still held a torch for him but he was too stubborn to have done anything about it. He wanted to protect her and protect the people of sanctuary. Being in a relationship again would not only be dangerous for her but for everyone else. He couldn’t get distracted and had he hoped that Lilith knew that and that maybe, after all this was over, things could be different.</p><p>But now, he realized how much he wished he had said. Wanted her to know that he—<em>shit! </em></p><p>“Mhmm . . .” Jo’s face twisted suddenly, as if she was experiencing a sudden stomach ache. Her eyelids didn’t open though but it seemed that she would be awake very soon. Then her eyes moved under their lids as her nose twitched. Within a few seconds, hazel eyes opened.</p><p>“Easy,” she froze at his voice. “Don’t try to sit up, you’re pretty bruised around the neck.” Jo blinked, realizing that she was, indeed, pretty badly bruised. How hadn’t she noticed it before? Between waking up and running, she hadn’t done anything to cause that much pain. Or at least, nothing that she remembered.  </p><p>“I . . .” She trailed off.</p><p>“How about you start with telling me your name.” Hearing him was like listening to a stern teacher.</p><p>“It’s um,” god she couldn’t think straight. “Jo.” He raised an eyebrow at her.</p><p>“Jo?” She coughed at the way he spoke her name.</p><p>“Yes, Jo. Not J-O-E just J-O.” She looked nervous, both a good sign and bad sign to Roland.</p><p>“Alright, <em>Jo</em>, can you tell me why you’re here?” He paused. “And where you came from?” A large pause of silence filled the room.</p><p>“That’s complicated.” Roland felt irritation rise up his spine. “And honestly, I don’t even know if it matters whether I tell you or not.”</p><p>“Care to explain why that is?” Jo closed her eyes, hoping that not looking at his face would make things easier.</p><p>“Because there’s a good chance this might all go away.” Even she disliked how vague her answers were. “I mean, this is all a lot to take in.” Sighing, she finally reopened her eyes. “Plus, unlike you, I’m real and this is not a twelve-year old’s first crack at self-insert fanfiction.”</p><p>“You’re not exactly answering my question.” Jo flinched, Roland might have been a nice enough character in the game but here, in the flesh (sort of), she wasn’t Maya or Gaige. There was no indication that she was a Vault Hunter or that she was even on his side.</p><p>“I’m not from Pandora,” he opened his mouth but Jo immediately cut him off. “Or any other planet around. Honestly, I’d be surprised if we were from the same universe.”</p><p>“There’s only one universe.” His gaze burnt into the skin of her eyelids.</p><p>“I honestly don’t even know anymore.” She didn’t realize she was crying until a single tear dried against her cheek. “Roland, have you ever read a story and wanted to be a part of it.”</p><p>Now she threw him off. He honestly didn’t know how to answer such an odd question. Had he ever felt that way? Maybe as a kid? But the memories of his life before this mess was nothing more then pieces of a burnt scrapbook. The only story he wanted to be apart of now was the one where his people were happy. A life surrounded by friends like Brick, Mordecai, Tina, Maya, Gaige, and <em>Lilith</em>.</p><p>“When I was younger, I guess. There’s no time to fantasize anymore when your enemies have you pushed against a wall.”</p><p>“I see . . .” Jo forgot for a moment what she wanted to say. “I’ve spent most of my life dreaming of stories and now . . . I’m in one.”</p><p>. . .</p><p>Helios these days wasn’t exactly all that safer than Pandora. Well, at least for anyone whose name wasn’t ‘Handsome Jack’. A few workers had begun to tally the amount of casualties since the rise of the COV and what departments were more likely to churn out future targets. So far, Jack had killed mostly semi-higher ups, assistants, a few engineers, a lot of people who worked with anything code related, and a score of loader bots. Any job that entailed meeting Jack on a regular basis was a near death sentence. You’d have better luck working in the Wildlife preserve.</p><p>Despite his tendencies, people still found themselves fawning over him. This was mostly people who saw Jack only through propaganda. It was a little frustrating to think of how charisma and money was enough to gloss over the whole fascist dictator thing.</p><p>It also helped that Jack seemed like the better, slightly more sane option than The Calypsos.</p><p>In his office, Jack was completely unaware of what was brewing at the surface of Pandora. A cleaning attendant had recently come in that day, when he was gone, and had cleaned up the office to his liking. He found himself in less of a bad mood now that his workspace no longer reflected the way Helios had felt to him.</p><p>“Sir,” a scratchy voice came through the intercom system that was on the corner of his desk.</p><p>“Yes Pumpkin,” he smirked a little bit. This new assistant was a constant nervous wreck. It didn’t help that he knew that he was assistant number thirteen. Nine through twelve had ‘left’ within the past five months. He, whatever the fuck his name was, was uncomfortable when Jack got into a ‘good mood’. It felt that with every changing pet name, his assistant was coming closer to his death.</p><p>“There’s some men here from-- *where are you guys from again*” Voices could be heard harshly whispering through the static.</p><p>“Just send them in, I don’t have time for this.” Suddenly assistant number fourteen didn’t seem like such a far away thing anymore.</p><p>The door nearly burst open as three men appeared. Jack couldn’t remember where he had seen them before. But he knew that he <em>had </em>seen them somewhere. Though it felt like their meeting had been off of Helios and possibly on the surface of Pandora.</p><p>He looked a little amused at the way the three of them walked towards them. Two of them looked awfully sweaty and the other seemed to be more in control. Jack liked men who weren’t too afraid to speak in a normal-ish tone to him. As long as they knew their place.</p><p>“Can I help you gentlemen,” he raised an eyebrow at them. There was a hint of irritation in those monochrome eyes even though they were slightly hidden by the playfulness of his expression. The two nervous ones took a half step back from his desk as the other one stayed still.</p><p>“Mr. Handsome Jack, sir, I’m—”</p><p>“Don’t care, get on with it.” If he wanted, he could easily figure out who they were afterwards, when or if he gave more of a crap.</p><p>“Our team has detected something on Pandora,” the man took out his echo and flipped it over so that Jack could see. He lazily took it from his hands and brought it closer to his masked face. “Something that gave off a reading similar to a high energy earthquake.”</p><p>“So you came her to tell me about an earthquake?” If it was possible to sweat a marathons worth of water, then the two men were getting pretty close to proving that. That may have been why they were slowly moving farther back. They should known though that it didn’t matter how far away you were. If Jack decided he wanted you dead there would be nowhere on Helios that they could hide behind.</p><p>“No, of course not.” The other subconsciously began to itch the back of his head. “Closer inspection showed that there wasn’t an earthquake at all. Just a sudden outburst of energy that showed up powerfully enough on our screens to mimic that of an earthquake.”</p><p>There was a pause.</p><p>“Go on,” and with that, the man was able to exhale out the breath he was holding.</p><p>“We’re not sure what caused it or what it even is.” Even the other stepped back a little as Jack’s gaze turned harsher. “But we think that this, well, <em>energy</em>, works kind of like eridium. On the outside it seems like a simple stone, yet it gives off a power frequency far beyond what it should be capable of.” He coughed, trying to clear his throat. “This thing, that showed up on our screens, lasted only for a few minutes but left such an impression that parts of it can still be traced. When you look at the surface of Pandora, however, everything looks the same. There seems to be nothing there.”</p><p>“W-w-e don’t think it’s connected to eridium though,” one of the other two, who was the most-bald of them all, spoke up. “It gave off a signature unlike what were used to.”</p><p>“Whatever it is,” chimed in the last one. “We’re afraid that it might be connected to Calypso’s. It seems logical that, you know, given what we’ve seen so far, that they would be capable of causing something like this.”</p><p>Jack made a sound that crossed between annoyance and exhaustion.</p><p>“While I appreciate the update on the mysterious whatever the fuck is happening,” Jack stood up from his chair and all of them started to shake. “ I’d like to make it clear that unless you, and the rest of the fucks in your department, figure out what <em>this </em>is beyond just ‘it’s got a weird energy’” he said, mocking their fear laced voices. “Before the end of the week, I’ll personally show you what real power feels like.” It didn’t take an idiot to know that he wasn't talking about giving them money and women.</p><p>They left within a blink of an eye the moment Jack threw back the echo at the least scared one. He had glanced at it a little, noting that it just looked like some sort of map blueprint with a blinking smush of different types of red on top of it. The spot itself, which he guessed was that energy signature, was shaped like a poorly drawn oval. He had also noticed the little key that rested towards the corner of the echo that explained what the different colors meant. That spot was pretty dark, indicating that it wasn’t just a case of one of Pandoras less frequent mining earthquakes.</p><p>Whatever it was, he’d be damned if the COV used it against him.</p><p>. . .</p><p><em>Typical</em>, is what Jo thought. She should have known better then to unload, well, everything to him. Maybe it was the ridiculousness of her situation but somehow saying <em>“You’re from I video game I play” </em>seemed like a reasonable pill for Roland to swallow. And now here she was.</p><p>Strapped to the damn bed like a lunatic. Bitterly, she lamented that this was the first time someone had restrained her wrists to a headboard <em>with </em>all her clothes on. And to think that she promised herself literally a month ago that she wouldn’t be in this exact same situation ever again (unless it was with another woman). </p><p>Well, at the very least, Roland wasn’t an electrician with a fetish for attempting to rip off someone’s boobs. </p><p>“I’m not a psycho, I swear.” Roland didn’t respond. He hadn’t responded for over a half hour. With his back turned to her, he appeared to be scrolling through his Echo. “I really don’t want to strip your flesh off and turn it into a marionette puppet.”</p><p>Silence. She sighed.</p><p>“Roland, is there anything I can say to you that will make you at least believe some of what I’m saying.” He straightened up his back.</p><p>“Fine,” Jo exhaled. “Tell me something no one else would know.”</p><p><em>Damn it! </em>She thought. Jo closed her eyes an attempted to pick something, anything out of her brain that would be good enough. It would have to be something that couldn’t have been spread around through the echo or people in general. Things like the tapes that would have been used to prove Lilith’s existence before Sanctuary flew up into the sky weren’t good enough evidence, even if she could nearly paraphrase most of it. Jo didn’t know much about him outside of the second game. This was now a huge regret.</p><p>On top of all this, how much of this actually happened or had happened. Never once did Roland camp out in The Dust. And when did he look older then before he died. Her heart raced painfully as memories flashed around in her head like a carnival game.</p><p>“How much do you know about Angel?” Roland looked back towards her.</p><p>“We thought she was an AI that was helping us.” His tone lowered immensely. “But it turned out that she was working for Jack all along.”</p><p>“And then you guys killed her, right?”</p><p>“No, where the hell did you hear that?” Jo’s eye lids shot up. Things weren’t the same. “We were supposed to take her down. Zero and Axton had plans to invade the bunker with Claptrap but that was before . . .”</p><p>“Before what?”</p><p>“Lilith.” He cast his eyes toward the floor. “Jack had a few tricks up his sleeve that none of us were aware of. Apparently not even Angel knew.” He didn’t sound convinced by that last part. “Lilith was captured before Zero and Axton could even step foot on the Bunker.”</p><p>
  <em>“Then things started to fall apart,” Roland thought. “It’s my fault she’s stuck with him.” </em>
</p><p>“So did you find out that Angel wasn’t an AI, right?” The answer was no, based on his reaction. Standing up, he walked towards the foot of her bed.</p><p>“Then what is she?”</p><p>“A siren.” Roland’s face contorted into confusion. “That’s why she was able to talk to you in that weird, like, floaty AI way. Only sirens can do that.”</p><p>“Lilith did that,” he seemed to be looking through Jo now. “Just a few times before Jack took her away completely.”</p><p>“On top of that,” Jo couldn’t help but feel a rising sense of smugness. “The reason Jack had Angel in the first place is because she’s his daughter.”</p><p>No one said anything after that. Minutes passed by and Roland stood in front of her like a life-sized standup cutout. The type that Jack had of himself (they were littered everywhere of course).</p><p>“Just because you know these things doesn’t mean that you’re not working for Jack.” He had contemplated before whether she was COV but without any markings, and also never once talking about the greatness of the twin gods, it made more sense that this was Hyperions work.</p><p>“Do you really think that Jack would want anyone to know about his relation to Angel?” He didn’t know what to say about that.</p><p>“Tell me something else,” he pulled the chair in front of the bed so that he was closer to her face rather than feet. “Seeing as you claim to know almost everything.”</p><p>“Jesus fuck, I didn’t say I knew everything. I said that I know more than most others in Pandora.” Any annoyance died down the moment she looked up into his eyes. “And it seems that things have gone in a completely different direction.”</p><p>“But you still knew about Angel.” Roland didn’t say it out loud but he was still wasn’t sure if that thing about Angel was true. It did make a little sense in hindsight but even then, this whole mess sounded like a huge, stupid lie.</p><p>“Yeah but obviously something happened that threw the entire plot off course.” She looked towards the wall. “Angel’s supposed to be dead, she wanted to die. She knew more then anyone else about the extent of Jack’s cruelty.”</p><p>“Still, some of what you’ve said sounds possible.” He couldn’t say it to her, not without knowing anything about her situation. But if she were even a little bit right about these things then that could make a huge difference in the fight. “If you want me to believe even a fraction of what you’re telling me, then I suggest you try to think of something else.”</p><p>“Uh, well, when . . . when you came back to Sanctuary after being captured by the Bloodshots,” Roland made a look that said, ‘go on’. “Lilith chastised you for being careless and you tried to apologize, sort of, but then she said she was kidding and that she was ‘happy to see you’ and that ‘this is where you say you’re happy to see me too’.” Jo wasn’t completely sure if what she said was accurate. It was just a random line of dialogue that floated to the top of her head.</p><p>It must have worked a little because now Roland was silent, staring directly at her. Jo wasn’t sure if he was looking for some sort of indication that she’s lying. He wondered if Angel had heard him and Lilith talking because surely, there wasn’t any other rational explanation.</p><p>Jo knew this wasn’t easy. Most of what she was thinking of to add to what she was saying were all things that Jack could have known through Angel. Or something someone else knew that could have been told to others.</p><p>“Jo,” she flinched. “Do you happen to know anything about the Children of the Vault?” Roland didn’t expect such a reaction from the girl. The moment he said the word ‘children’ she tensed up.</p><p>“They’re . . . They’re . . . not supposed to be here yet.” Jo’s throat dried up. “I mean if Jack is still here and Angel is still here and –”</p><p>“I’m going to stop you there and assume that you know just as much about them as you know about Jack.” She was glad he stopped her rambling. Now was not the time to explain how dead he was supposed to be.</p><p>“Yeah, I mean, maybe a little less.”</p><p>“Do you know what they’re planning?” Her expression changed as her body calmed. “They keep talking about some ‘Great Vault’, what and where is that?” He knew that was a tall order but it was worth asking.</p><p>“Yeah I do,” saying he looked surprised was an understatement. “It’s like this . . . huge vault that the Calypso’s want so that they can take all its power and use it to become actual gods. Both of them are capable of sapping the power out of the Vault monsters and using it to become even better Sirens.”</p><p>“Where is it,” he sounded a little frantic now. In the back of his head, Roland knew that there was still a lot of doubt surrounding what she was saying. But the idea that she knew something that Jack didn’t, and that the Calypso’s didn’t want others to know, was information more valuable than anything Angel had ever offered.</p><p>“It’s Pandora.” She said simply, as if it wasn’t that big of deal.</p><p>“Wait, do you mean in Pandora?”</p><p>“Well, the things is, it’s all of Pandora. Pandora <em>is </em>the great vault.” Jo realized that everything she was saying did not help her sound like less of a crazy person. “If they COV succeed, then all of Pandora will be destroyed along with Elpis. They basically want to use the moon to crack this planet up like a skull.”</p><p>. . .</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Missing Arm in Action</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Hey.” Greens eyes opened to look up at a metal celling. “Shorty, guess what.” An excited voice whispered a little too loudly into her ears.</p><p>“Tina, girl, I’ve barely slept.” Tina impatiently lifted Gaige up by her armpits to put her into a sitting position. She needed the help anyways. Getting up with only one arm sucked balls. “You think they’re taking us somewhere?”</p><p>“Yep, dose cult bitches gonna move our asses back out to The Dust.” Tina rocked back in forth on the edges of her butt. Somehow she had a lot more energy despite having only clonked out for a few hours. Gaige, though not too different in personality from Tina, needed the rest. Without her robot arm, sleep had begun to feel painful. She was anxious without it and it felt like the scar was physically hurting her.</p><p>“Why are they doing that,” Gaige tilted her head as she looked out of the bars of their cell. For the past few days they had been stuck in a cell that was placed within a caravan like truck. It was now that she realized that it was nosier outside then usual.</p><p>“Welp, I ain’t exactly sure but I heard some ov’em nomads talking bout’ Roland.” Gaige was surprised how calm Tina looked.</p><p>“Wait, they’re going back for him?! They didn’t even see him!” Everyone, including the Calypsos and Jack thought that Roland was dead. There was video footage of him getting shot in the chest by a badass loader bot. They had all been distracted by Lilith literally being forced to obey Jack’s will as her powers were trapped within a collar. After hearing Lilith screaming at the site of him slumping to the ground, Jack and Lilith had teleported off.</p><p>If it weren’t for Zero, he would have bled out on the steps leading to Angel’s bunker. By the time he had woken up by Zed and Tannis, Jack had severed all possible communication to Angel and Lilith. The two of them were completely removed and put into a new place. No one even knew if the two of them were even on Pandora.</p><p>“Uh-huh, think they know we was talking ‘bout him.” Before she could answer, the walls around them began to shake as the smell of car exhaust stung the inside of their noses.</p><p>“Fuuuuckkk,” Gaige slammed her head back against the floor.</p><p>If these bandits found Roland and could prove he was alive, well . . . it’s best not to think about that.</p><p>. . .</p><p>There had been a lot more questions. A LOT more. Slowly that doubt Roland had was fading back into the deep parts of his head. It didn’t make sense for Jo to be using such a convoluted trap. Why not just use herself as a trap to lure Roland out of hiding? Skip the video game crap and simply play the part of a lost girl. If Jack was spending his time coming up with these stupid plots then the COV really don’t have much to worry about.</p><p>“So the last people you saw were Gaige and Angel?” Jo was sitting on the edge of the bed now with one hand cradling the back of her neck. He nodded to her in response.</p><p>“They went out on a supply run after we spotted a group of cultists in the area.” His eyes were focused out towards the solitary window. It was cracked and weathered down by the dirt making everything outside seem splotchy. “I’ve been holding back on going out. We agreed that it was best that everyone assumed I was still dead so the two of them left with each other.”</p><p>“And they never came back.” Jo wasn’t proud of the spooky way she made that sound. This wasn’t a fun ghost story to Roland. It was the last of his known friends.</p><p>“When they didn’t respond for a few hours so I went out to look for them,” he pointed his hand to the adjacent corner of the room. A large coat was crumbled up on the ground. “Don’t know how those Nomads work in those coats out here but it’s a good cover for anyone not up close.” He paused and exhaled from his nose. “All that was left out there were tire tracks and scattered trash.”</p><p>“Do you think—”</p><p>“I know those two better then any Crimson Raider, Gaige and Tina are too tough to die at the hands of some low-life bandits.” He tried to sound confident in his resolve but Jo could hear the way his tone waivered.</p><p>“Yeah . . .”</p><p>Before anyone could speak, a sudden ringing came from the Rolands echo. He swiped it into his hands without any hesitation.</p><p>“Uh what’s that sound?” He didn’t say but after a few moments his face hardened. With a slight wave from his hand, he motioned for Jo to come behind him.</p><p>From her spot she could see the beginnings of a video. As well as a face she had never wanted to see again.</p><p>
  <em>Hey there to all of our badass bandit followers!</em>
</p><p>God damn it, Jo thought, fucking Tyreen Calypso. It was hard to tell where she was in the video. It didn’t seem like it was anywhere in The Dust. It was much more of a dark and soggy green then snow and sand. Maybe Eden-6?</p><p>
  <em>Today me and Troy are putting out a sweet-ass video loop of the ‘Crimson Raider’ leader, Roland, getting shot in the back. We totally did that by the way. </em>
</p><p>Jo rolled her eyes, fucking liars. Tyreen had deepened her voice as she spoke the name of the raiders. Somewhat mocking the way Roland spoke.</p><p>
  <em>It’s a good hour long with plenty of great audio and visual effects to really capture the beauty of his death. </em>
</p><p>She sounded way too happy about it. Almost as if she were getting off at the thought of Roland sinking to the ground, covered in blood.</p><p>
  <em>Some of ya’ll out in that dusty wasteland of Pandora seem to be questioning if he actually died which, as you can see by the amount of blood and the way his eyes rolled back into his head, he did. Those two raider kids are terrible liars. Ha-ha, trying to get us off course, intimidate us. </em>
</p><p>She spoke those last two lines with malice, staring directly into the eye of the camera.</p><p>
  <em>Me and Troy can’t wait to show you what a cyborg magician and a pyromaniac look like after they’re strapped to a couple of giant ass missiles. Bye now, and remember to like, subscribe, and obey~</em>
</p><p>The echo looked as if it was a fraction away from cracking under Rolands grip. Jo backed away towards the wall as Roland stood up. After a few seconds Jo coughed, catching his attention.</p><p>“I, uh, really don’t know where they could’ve gone but . . . there is a chance that it’s either near the Holy Radio Broadcast Center or Carnivora near the Splinterlands.”</p><p>Roland stared at her; an uncomfortable silence passed by causing Jo to look away. He didn’t want to say it out loud in front of her, this mysterious girl who he couldn’t even quite figure out was his friend or foe. But he never felt so powerless. A poor excuse for a leader. Now two of his closest friends were scheduled to die live in front of the entire ECHOnet.</p><p>“I’m leaving.” With that, Roland grabbed his Nomad coat and shifted it onto his body. If someone got too close they would be able to see his face but as far as disguises go, it was enough for a man who was more than capable of making sure no one gets near him. “You,” he stopped. “Should stay.”</p><p>Any form of protest died down in Jo’s throat. Being left alone was terrifying on its own, yet, being thrust into combat was an entirely different thing all together. Besides, she realized as she watched Roland leave, she needed time to fully understand what was going on around her.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Technical Solutions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Four</p><p>If there was one thing comforting about their situation, it was that Tina seemed unfazed by everything happening around her. At most, this was just a minor annoyance in her life. Gaige wasn’t as confident in their escape as she was. Mostly because of her missing arm and, therefore, missing robot. If she still had it they would have already been back to Roland days ago, with deathtrap leaving a trail of dead cultists in their wake.</p><p>There was a divide between the back of the caravan and the drivers so that neither of them could see who was upfront. Whether out of confidence, or stupidity, no one waited with them in the back. For the past hour, the gears in Gaige’s head had been turning over and over. The cage that kept them locked in wasn’t some simple fix. The lock was as complicated as a bank vault and they wondered if it was specifically made by the Calypsos for this exact situation.</p><p>From the corner of Gaige’s eyes, Tina sat pressed up against the bars, staring intently at Gaige’s body. The redheads eyebrows furrowed at her friend, wondering what had gotten into her. It was strange since the blonde’s jaw was shut tightly. Despite staring in the chest region, there was no indication that Tina was looking at her with amusement or attraction.</p><p>“Yo, girl,” Gaige’s head snapped to look over at her. “Do me a flavor and come ‘er.” Tina beckoned her over with her right hand before patting a spot in front of her.</p><p>“Ok, sure.” She said with a sigh. As strange as this was, she still trusted her friend. What was the worst that could happen anyways?</p><p>She scooted over to face the younger girl. She nearly toppled over once or twice without the second hand to balance her. Without any warning, Tina grabbed her side and forced her to twist her body around so that she could look at the empty place where the arm had connected to her socket. A few wires had jutted out where the robot arm had been pulled off. After a few seconds, Tina raised her hand and began to touch those very wires.</p><p>“Uhhhh, what are you doing?”</p><p>“Just dis.”</p><p>“FUCK!” With a pull, Tina yanked the wires from her body, not realizing the connection they had to Gaige’s nerve endings. “Why the hell did you do that?!?” She sucked in a ragged breath from between her teeth, her whole body shacking with pain.</p><p>“Oof, sorry gurl, didn’t think that would hurt.” She turned the wires over in her hands, twirling the ends in a fanning motion. Before Gaige could say anything, Tina’s left hand reached behind her and pulled at her armor. The wires, alongside of some pieces of metal and other weird bites, became a part of a pile between the two. Finally, Tina unceremoniously dropped her broken shield on top. “Trust me ‘dough, it’ll be fucking worth it.” A wide grin grew onto her face, one that nearly matched the insanity that was going on in her head.</p><p>“And what exactly do you think all of this will do?”</p><p>. . .</p><p>The throbbing in Jo’s body had somehow stopped almost instantly. However, her eyes had somehow became clouded, as if she were looking out of a hazy kaleidoscope. There were things being said in the background but they too were not clear. It was more like trying to listen to a conversation through one of those ocean shells. The static was more easily recognizable then what the people around her were saying.</p><p>The only thing that was clear, though, was that she wasn’t in the Dust. And that none of these two voices sounded anything like Roland.</p><p>She wanted to feel panic, hell, she should feel panic. But her body was betraying her in every aspect. She also wanted to gasp when the foreign, warm feeling of a hand crept up her thigh (which was somehow now bare) and under a pair of shorts. Her hands, no longer clasped together, grabbed at this hand. The relief at knowing that it was going to be pushed off died instantly when, instead, she encouraged it. A sudden bought of clarity allowed her to hear two words.</p><p>
  <em>“Stop Teasing.” </em>
</p><p>A chuckle rang into her eardrums and without any warning, that hand snaked its way into her panties. Two large fingers ran up and down her lips with feather like touches. In response her hips raised just a few centimeters of her chair. It was like being strapped down onto an operating table, each limb and orifice of her body were trapped into a locked state in which all she could do was feel.</p><p>And what she felt wasn’t her choice either. She was just along for the ride.</p><p><em>“Beg for it</em>.”</p><p>Why did she want to say please?</p><p>. . .</p><p>Roland didn’t know where he was going. In his technical, the only thing he saw amongst the vast landscape was abandoned shacks and the outskirts of bandit camps. Each and every one of them now adorned different types of COV symbols and he really didn’t know of there was a non-COV group near him. Everyday things always seemed to grow more and more insane and it felt that there was no stopping point, no barrier that decides what’s the max amount of fucked up that Pandora can get. Any sane person would give up and flee their way to some other world. Someplace that the COV and Jack didn’t bother to care about.</p><p>
  <em>BOOM!!!</em>
</p><p>His car braked so fast that the whole thing near toppled over with such an amount of force. Gunfights and car battles were normal for this part of the world but an explosion loud enough to carry out of sight? Not so much.</p><p>From behind a large series of dunes, a waft of dark smoke began to fume into the air like a tornado. A series of shouts and gunfire followed it into the air. Within seconds the technical roared to life and Roland was gone, leaving his own trail of smoke behind.</p><p>Beyond the dunes, all out chaos swarmed around a cluster of cars. Cultists ran around, shooting without much thought, sometimes hitting their own in the confusion. Deep within the smoke, unseen momentarily by everyone else, Gaige and Tina erupted into a coughing fit.</p><p>“How to fuck did you do that,” Gaige’s throat burned with the inhale of fumes. It was some sort of miracle that neither of them had sustained any significant injuries. They should have, really, it was nearly impossible to have managed something such as this.</p><p>“Ah ya know, a little of dis and dat.”  She laughed, not coughing nearly as much as Gaige. “Don’t underestimate ma skilz babe.”</p><p>A bullet grazed the edge of Tina’s shirt, ending the conversation as Gaige pushed her down onto the ground. Instinct had her go to grab a gun that wasn’t there on her side. The redhead hissed a curse under her breath and looked back up to the scene around them. The smoke was receding and cultists were slowly beginning to realize were they were supposed to be aiming their guns at. Bullets bounced off of the burning metal of the destroyed caravan and whizzed around them like bees.</p><p>“Come out, come out wherever you are!”</p><p>“Scared Little Ones?!” Laughter erupted within the buzz of chaos from various raiders and bruisers. Unphased, Tina batted an incoming grenade with a sheet of metal back towards the crowd.</p><p>
  <em>Boom!</em>
</p><p>“Rest in Peace Bitches!”</p><p>“Get up, come on!” Standing up, Gaige tore her friend away from continuing a game of explosive tennis and ran in the opposite direction. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—” This was there only chance now, even if they were supposed to be blown up by the Calypsos and not shot to shit, these bandits didn’t exactly think when it came to violence. They’d be dead the moment one of them caught up with them.</p><p>“Chill girl,” Tina laughed. Gaige twisted her head to show exasperation about how ‘not chill’ this entire thing was. “Look up.”</p><p>She hesitated, but gave in. Their pace slowed a bit and even Gaige felt an instant wave of relief.</p><p>“Need a hand.” There, above the dunes, was Roland.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Talentless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Chapter Five</span>
</p><p>“Woah, who’s this fine ass bitch?” Jo’s eyes popped open at the feeling of a finger being pressed up against her head.</p><p>“Jesus!” Her body jerked up into a sitting position. The fast motion left a sting in her neck.</p><p>“Tina, Gaige, this is Jo.” Roland’s voice snapped her back into reality. A reality where Gaige and Tina now existed in. She scanned the room for a few moments, taking in the sight of the both of them. Tina was all grown up now, just like in the third game. Gaige was too but less so than her. There was still a bit of her that resembled the cute pigtailed high-school girl from the second game. The last thing that Jo realized was that Gaige was missing her trademark arm.</p><p>“Hey . . .” She waved weakly at them. “Nice to meet you two.”</p><p>“New recruit?” Gaige looked away towards Roland. “It’s been like months since we’ve had one.” A smile now played upon her lips, even if Jo wasn’t much, there was hope in the idea of a new addition.</p><p>“Uh, yeah, she is.” His dark eyes pierced into her and stabbed her with an unspoken warning. “We met not too far from here, never met someone who hated the Calypsos more than us.” While it wasn’t a lie, as Jo really couldn’t stand the two who were basically the equivalent of those annoying youtubers who appealed to a fan base of tweenagers, she didn’t exactly tell Roland of that. She guessed it was just a way of showing her allegiance with them. With that said, it seemed that he didn’t want her to proclaim just who she was and what she knew of them.</p><p>“She don’t look like much, dough.” Jo should have felt offended but honestly, she was definitely not wrong. “Got any cool skilz?” The twenty-six-year-old stared up at Roland, slightly uncomfortable at the question. If she had cool ‘skilz’ then she would have actually tried out for her high schools talent show. Being able to play three lines of Beethoven’s Midnight Sinatra on the piano wasn’t exactly something worth bragging about.</p><p>“Uh not necessarily.” She looked down towards her lap, afraid of any judgmental gaze the two women could give her. Despite being older than both of them they somehow made her feel fifteen years younger. They were the older sisters and she was just a child.</p><p>“She’s been somewhat useful so far.” Roland’s voice echoed within the room. “I’m sure she’ll be a great contributor to the team.” Jo wanted to feel happy about his words. Here was Roland complimenting her and telling her she’s important to them. Yet, those eyes of his said something different. She wondered if there would be a time when he would trust her. Be able to fully believe her without some sort of doubt within the back of his head. She couldn’t blame him though.</p><p>“Weeellll, now that we’ve been given some good news it’s probably best to talk about the bad news.” Gaige’s’ face twisted into an uncomfortable frown. Tina, after a moment, also mimicked that painfulness.</p><p>“And what would that be,” Roland narrowed his eyes at them.</p><p>“It’s about Brick and Mordecai.” A look of surprise passed the man’s face and for a half second he looked relieved. But the two women, usually positive people, didn’t seem to feel the same way. “And Jack.” Gaige spat the name out with a hiss. Tina’s hands curled into tight fists at her sides.</p><p>“Asshole finally finished dat dome thingy.”</p><p>“And Brick and Mordecai are the main attraction for the first day.”</p><p>Tina, without any care for manners, grabbed Rolands echo from the table and started going through it. It took her all of ten seconds to find what she was looking for. She shoved the thing into Rolands face, a finger pointing to whatever must have stood out.</p><p>“Damn it,” Roland turned away. One of his hands banged up against the side of the wall.</p><p>“What is it?” Jo leaned slightly off the bed. Tina, skipping slightly, went back to the strange woman. She unceremoniously placed the echo into Jo’s lap. She squinted at the screen, the content being somewhat blurry given the state of the device. It wasn’t surprising that the first thing she noticed was Handsome-Goddamn-Jack and his sickly-looking smirk. It was an online flyer of sorts with the background being someplace near the edge of Opportunity’s ocean. It wasn’t familiar, obviously something that was produced after initial construction. It hit her then that she was looking at what was supposed to be, and in this case is, the underdome that Moxxi had wanted flooded in her side mission. Either construction had restarted or the mission never ended up happening.</p><p>In bold words, the ad read <em>Get your tickets for the grand opening of the Handsome Underdome! It’s going to be an event you won’t want to miss! Come see some of Pandora’s toughest, and dumbest, competitors fight it out in the arena. Grand Prize is thirty-thousand dollars, your own life size cutout of Handsome Jack, and the honor of slaying two of Hyperions most wanted assholes! </em></p><p>As she read the last line a picture within the ad came into focus. There off the side, was the image of Mordecai and Brick, obviously edited to look idiotic and barbaric. She couldn’t really see what had changed about them, given how misleading and small their picture was.</p><p>“They’re going to be executed?” Gaige nodded her head.</p><p>“Those COV assholes were talking about it a few days ago, guess the Calypsos don’t like being shown up when it comes to ECHOnet news.” Gaige went to sit down next to Tina on the bed. By now Jo had swung her legs around and was ready to get up.</p><p>“Jack wants their death to be humiliating” Roland murmured.</p><p>“Seems like a good plan to put himself back into the spotlight.” Crimson Raiders we’re few and far between these days. Having them killed by either side was bragging rights in its own. They were the last bastion of saneness in a not-so-sane universe. At this point it was a competition between the COV and Hyperion as to who gets the honor of killing who.</p><p>“We gots to get ‘em out.” Tina was bouncing on the edge of the bed. “I can blow dat place sky high shorty.”</p><p>“We’d have to sneak into Opportunity first.” Gaige held her head in her one good hand. “Which of course is easy when you’re three of the most wanted and recognizable people on Pandora. I mean at least people think Roland is dead but still.”</p><p>“Yo we can go all disguised and shit, it’ll be like a bomb ass spy movie.”</p><p>“Unfortunately, me and Gaige would have to sit this one out.” Tina pouted at Rolands words. “Even with a disguise I’ll still stand out around a crowd of people and I highly doubt Gaige will be able to fix up her arm in time for this.”</p><p>“Wait when is this?”</p><p>“Tomorrow night.” Roland was looking at Jo now. He wasn’t piercing her with those judgmental eyes but the way he looked at her still made her uneasy.</p><p>“So you’re sending Tina alone?” Jo should have known what his reply would be the moment it came out of her mouth.</p><p>“Of course not.” He started to walk towards her. “She’ll be with you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Start of a Kickass Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A crash of pain surged through his stomach and into his lungs. It wasn’t an uncommon way to be waken up these days. Looking up into the eyes of the nameless Hyperion soldier, Mordecai couldn’t help but chuckle.</p><p>“Morning,” the soldier clenched his gun to his chest. The former sniper had a habit of getting under Hyperion skin. Then again, so did their other high-profile prisoner. “Got any breakfast.”</p><p>“It’s two in the afternoon.” The man spat out. It surprised Mordecai that they had left him sleep so long.</p><p>“Damn,” he sat up and cracked his neck. “I was looking forward to Wet Waffle Wednesday.”</p><p>“It’s Thursday, dumbass.” A third voice echoed into the room. The soldier froze and backed away from him. Mordecai didn’t bother, or even care. He didn’t fear Jack.</p><p>“Well this is a nice surprise,” Mordecai fully sat up from the steel plated bed. His back was turned away from the wall where a medium sized screen displayed the face of everyone’s favorite fascist. “Here I was thinking that you’d be too busy shaking your wrinkled fist at the wonder twins to talk to me.”  </p><p>“Aww I always have time for you pumpkin.” Mordecai rolled his eyes and moved his hand to scratch at his scuffed face. A twinge of anger rose as he was reminded of the missing fingers on his hand. Most importantly the one that he had hoped would get to pull the trigger on Jack’s stupid head. “Besides, it’s not like we’re going to have much time together anymore.” Mordecai smirked.</p><p>“Why? Are you dying of testicular cancer or something?”</p><p>“Oh I’m doing perfectly fine, still number one on Hyperion Magazines top ten sexiest men in the universe list.”</p><p>“What a coincidence. Last time I checked; you were still number one on Crimson Radio’s list of men who don’t know where the clit is.”</p><p>“Still sore Moxxi left you for me,” Jack’s laughter rang out. “Or is it because I stuffed your bird and made her one of Opportunity’s best attractions.” His resolve was breaking, it was easy even for Jack to realize that Mordecai had been pushed to the edge. It was always the bird that did it. Moxxi was just an added sting to the mans life.</p><p>“You as—”</p><p>“You know what, hold that thought.” A strange shuffling came over the speakers, Mordecai still refused to turn around and look at him. If he had he would see Jack searching around his desk for something. “I was actually in Opportunity recently and I took some really great photos with her, I think you’ll love them.”</p><p>The soldier hid a smirk under one of his hands as photos flashed upon the screen. The first ones were taken by him as citizens passed by Bloodwings corpse, one of them was a little boy posing with finger guns as if he had shot the bird dead. The next ones were tasteless selfies of Jack and the bird, a few with other people cheering and smiling in the background. They had no idea what type of hero Jack really was.</p><p>Mordecai did his best not to see it. But an accidental glance was all it took for him to lunge at the screen, punching it to the point of shattering glass into his fingers. The more Jack laughed the more damaged Mordecai became till the former sniper collapsed on the ground.</p><p>“Well it’s been fun but unfortunately I’ve got quite the busy schedule.” Mordecai was going to tear his tongue out, swear to god. “I can’t wait to see you tonight~”</p><p>The screen clicked off, a cracked mess, and the two men were left alone.</p><p>. . .</p><p>As Jack turned off the screen and swiveled around in his chair, he considered calling up Bricks cell. But taunting wasn’t as fun since Jack had decided to fit the animal like man with a muzzle. There’s only so many fingers one can bite off before realizing that he needed to be chained down in every sense. Instead, with a few clicks, he brought up a different sort of screen.</p><p>“Hey asshole,” the well-dressed man on the other side nearly jumped out of his chair. “Get some of the men to prod that Brick guy with those electrical thingy-s.” He didn’t often bother with the details of Bricks torture, only that he got some nice videos to watch in the moments in which he needed a pick-me-up.</p><p>“Yes, of course sir.” The other man was already typing away on a separate echo, shooing some of the soldiers behind him off of the screen. “Is there anything else you would like me to do.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Jack paused. His hand came up to his masked chin. “You know what, let’s break those legs while we’re at it.” The other man nodded vigorously.</p><p>“Of course, on it now.” Without warning Jack turned off the feed.</p><p>It was a good thing that man asked. With tonight’s festivities it would be better if the beast of a man couldn’t easily go all ape and escape. He wasn’t too worried about Mordecai, seeing as the man was just a waif of what he once was.</p><p>All in all, this was going to be a kickass night.</p><p>. . .</p><p>Jo wasn’t not having a kickass day. She also knew that she would not be having a kickass night either.</p><p>Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, Tina was the exact opposite. Jo could only hold on to the sides of their technical as the pyromaniac zipped through the desert, purposely hitting any sort of animal within site. For some reason, all these dead things only managed to spray blood on Jo instead of Tina. By the time they stopped near Overlook, Jo was a shaking mess.</p><p>“You Gucci babe?” Tina watched as Jo wiped the excess entrails off of her face and shoulders.</p><p>“Yes, Tina.” She spat out. “I’m totally Gucci.” The sarcasm was lost on her as Tina simply smiled in her goofy way. She hoped out as Jo slowly got crawled off. The car was hidden against the back of one of the lone buildings below Overlook. It was a lucky thing that a backpack had been stashed away under Jo’s feet in which two pairs of clothes were on top of a few choice explosions.</p><p>Jo was too tired, and messy, to care about stripping down in public. A wolf whistle from Tina only earned a roll of her eyes. She couldn’t help but glance at the blonde, though, as she took off her shirt and was left in a sports bra. Her upper body had a litter of scars, mostly from burns. Where she was athletic and battle worn, Jo was not. Her own body was smooth and a little flabby in the stomach area. Sitting at a desk all day didn’t allow for crunches, not like she would do them even if she could. But now she wished she had at least a few scars, nothing too much, to show some sort of experience.</p><p>After changing, Jo looked more like what she did back home. Her hair was pinned back and her face had a little bit of makeup (she was lucky Gaige and Tina had a couple). The clothes themselves didn’t stand out. It was more on the business casual side with a cute blue top and grey skirt. She wouldn’t stick out in public.</p><p>Tina, on the other hand, looked much different from her usual attire. She had brushed her hair down so that it looked like a bob. There was more makeup on her as to turn her face as natural as possible. It looked downright weird seeing her hiding so much of her crazy, out there style. Tina’s clothes consisted of a short-sleeved button down with a pair of tight jeans. To top it all off, she placed a grey hat on top of her head. It wasn’t anything flashy, just something to hide her features a bit.</p><p>“Ready ho~” Tina said while itching the collar of her neck.</p><p>She sighed.</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>. . .</p><p>God it was loud. So fucking loud. Nothing had even happened yet and the crowd was already showing excitement. Tina and Jo had yet to enter the arena, with the two of them conversing next to a convenience machine before their inevitable split up.</p><p>“You gonna do great, babe.” Tina slapped Jo’s ass, causing the woman to yelp. It didn’t help that an explosive was hidden under the skirt, attached to a tight pair of spanks. Luckily, the skirt was not tight as it flowed more freely, giving her outfit a dress like feel.</p><p>“Please don’t do that.” Jo begged. “I’m nervous enough.”</p><p>“We’ll bust out be-for yo even know it.” That was the plan. Get in while Tina snuck behind the scenes and planted her explosives. Then all she had to do was leave her only one alongside the south exit. They go off remotely the moment Brick and Mordecai come out and then they escape together and Jack can go and throw a hissy fit.</p><p>“. . .alright.” Faking her best ‘I’m ok’ face, Jo readied herself to get in line.</p><p>“That’s the spirit, gurl!” Without another word, Tina was already skipping off, making Jo wish she weren’t acting like a child. At least if she drew attention, Jo would not be around to deal with the fall out. As shitty as that made her seem.</p><p>The line was long and Jo spent the entire time clutching her new (well old) echo in her hands. It wasn’t as easy to use as an iPhone and she had to practice bringing up her ticket and ID several times. It turned out that Roland and Gaige weren’t so bad at hacking and creating fake ID’s. Years of working against Hyperion gave them the advantage of being able to turn Jo’s nonexistence into a low-level Hyperion worker. It wasn’t too far off from her current work as she was apparently some sort of receptionist amongst a sea of others.</p><p>They tweaked her name a bit too. Choosing to give her the name Joanna Renee Lister.</p><p>Jo made it to the front of the line quicker than she expected. She took steady breaths as she showed her echo ticket and ID to the burly bouncer who proceeded to scan it. The moments in which it was loading were the worst. She didn’t have any weapons or armor as no other civilians were supposed to have. Jack apparently wanted Opportunity to be the place in which his citizens didn’t need all of those things because they were safe and civil.</p><p>“Proceed.” The man grumbled, nodding his head towards the entrance.</p><p>Jo couldn’t help but smile and bounce on her toes as she made her way into the arena. Forgetting the hardest part was the planting.</p><p>. . .</p><p>It was much huger than anything she expected. It didn’t seem as big on the outside but on the inside it was like being inside of two football fields. The bottom of the pit lacked the green turf one would expect from a sports event. It wasn’t dirt either, more like a metal ground to give it a sleek aesthetic. Everything here was meant to make the barbarity of an underdome fight look as civil as possible. It was like watching people renaissance jousting at a renaissance festival.</p><p>Getting around all those people was a challenge in it’s own. Jo wasn’t the type of person who was aggressive enough to push past others. Instead she had to waddle her way through any sort of opening, apologizing profusely. She cursed at herself for apologizing when she felt a hand on her backside. She might not be aggressive but she certainly wasn’t a push over.</p><p>The south entrance seemed to be the busiest area, with people still pouring in. Sweating, Jo could not see a place in which she could just casually take out the explosive and plop it down out of sight. There were no chairs, expect for the VIP section upstairs, but a low-level employee had no chance of getting there. It would have to be up against a wall.</p><p>Ooorrrrr—it could be in a trashcan. They were selling concessions outside and she imagined that a lot of those foods, which included the type of stuff you would find in a carnival, would be thrown once the two raiders came out onto the field. But near the entrance were a few spaced out trashcans.</p><p>
  <em>Perfect!</em>
</p><p>She shimmied towards the can with her back to it. Her eyes continuously scanned the crowd, watching everyone pass by. No one was looking towards her as everyone tried to get as close to the edge as possible. With a deep breath, her hands moved to the back of her skirt and slowly went up it. If anyone saw her right now they’d probably think she was trying to readjust her underwear, which she honestly didn’t want them to think either.</p><p>Her hands found it and in one swift motion, she pulled it up and pushed it into the trashcan, not thinking twice. Her heart hammered as she walked away.</p><p>She was halfway across the dome when the speakers turned on.</p><p>“Citizens of Opportunity,” the crowd screamed. “Welcome to the Handsome Underdome!”</p><p>There, on the multiple screens, was Jack.</p>
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